Lessons From Clothespins and Rubber Band Balls

Barbara Z. Perman, Ph.D.

Sometime in early January, I asked my friend Abby how her holidays had been. She launched into a story about the gift she had given her mother.  "I gave my mom a new TV for the kitchen," she said. "Her old one was still working, but the new one looked so much better. Abby went on to explain that the old TV lived on top of the toaster oven and that at some point it had had a "melt down" when the toaster oven was on. So, the old TV still worked, but was lopsided where it had melted and her Mom had propped it up with a clothespin to make it level again. We shook our heads and chuckled at her Mom's ingenuity.

"We unplugged the old one" Abby continued, "and got the new one up and running and then my Mom asked me to take the old one to the basement."  "It took me by surprise that my Mom wanted to keep the old one and I was discouraged that she wanted it to go in the basement along with other old things that had been replaced over the years.

We chuckled again as we acknowledged the differences we have with our parents on this subject, Abby went on to tell me that the more she tried to convince her mother to scrap the old set, the more her mom insisted on saving it. In the end, my friend was obliged to honor her mother's request to store the old TV in the basement.

Abby's story took me back to three scenes from my past:

Scene I
As I was growing up, winter mornings found me huddled next to the radiator trying to keep myself warm while I dressed for school. Mornings weren't the only times that house seemed so cold to me, but whenever I would complain about how chilly it was my mom would say, "Put on an extra sweater!" This frequent remark resulted in our keeping a communal sweater hanging in the back hall, which anyone could throw on.

Scene II
Some years ago I visited the home of a couple, good friends of mine who were in their eighties. As we prepared to have a meal together, Shirley asked me to grab a waxed paper bag from the pantry. It turned out that the bag, which had rice or noodles or something in it and was sealed with a clothespin, had obviously enjoyed a previous life as the liner of a box of cereal. I chuckled to myself, admiring my friend's resourcefulness while somewhat irritated by her hanging onto a habit from a bygone era.

Scene III
Remember rubber-band balls? In the old days almost every home had one. The collection was made from the rubber bands that came wrapped around morning newspapers or from other items that came into the house. (I doubt if I ever once thought of using our rubber-band ball as a place to get rubber bands when I needed them.)

There's a sequel to the new-TV-old-TV story. Last week, I saw my friend Abby again and asked her if she'd convinced her mother to give away the old set. She laughed and said, "On my last visit Mom took me to the basement and proudly showed me how she'd hooked up her old TV, using a long cable that went half way around the room. She told me she is planning to watch TV while she does her laundry. I was speechless. Mom said, 'the only thing still missing is a clothespin to make it straight.'"

We at Moving Mentor, Inc. are privileged to spend a lot of time with the generation who were masters of recycling and making things last. They did it initially not only because it was necessary but because it was wise. They continue to do it for the same reasons and because they are in the habit. While we, in 2009 think we invented the concept of a "carbon footprint," most of our parents cultivated an ethos from early childhood that we could well learn from-it was called: "Why use more than is needed?" Amidst all the pressures of life, they were able to pay attention to the small things that helped conserve resources in their personal lives, their country and their planet.

Next time you see a clothespin (they're getting harder to find) think of all the uses it could have: Holding up a lopsided television, hanging out the laundry to dry in the sun instead of using that energy-consuming dryer, or... pinching your lips closed when you unthinkingly start to criticize an aging relative who has money because they saved it up little by little and always has a fresh baggie ready for use without spending a cent or polluting our world. And what's wrong with a whole family sharing the communal sweater to keep warm? What good fortune, putting on a sweater that was worn by everyone else in your family whom you've come to love or hate!

As the earth begins to wake up again and we prepare to welcome spring, perhaps the appreciation we feel at this renewal can be expressed through acts that conserve. As for me, I recently inherited a rubber-band ball from a client and I am actually trying to remember to use it as my rubber band supply!

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Barbara Z. Perman, Ph.D. is President of Moving Mentor, Inc., a company providing moving management and organizing services. Moving Mentor works in partnership with  adult children in guiding their aging parents through all aspects of the moving process. Visit www.movingmentor.com for more information.